I feel like I’ve cut my working memory in half. Especially when doing coding practices. Or have I always been this much of a brainlet? Brains can remember events with relative clarity, but exactly what was being thought of, almost always gets forgotten. It’s as if your working thoughts inhabit the same space as dreams. Your thoughts, reasonings, and feelings are ephemeral and usually lost forever.
Processes, facts, outcomes. They’re all remembered well, yet the actual context is never. Maybe it’s remembered as subconscious emotion. Dread and fear, when events turn south. Trauma turns to anxiety. Bliss to addiction and endless desire. Is that how context is recorded? Is it efficient? Ideal? A relic of animal days past? Lagging behind in the evolution from cruder analog differentials to approximates at digitized information. One sort of learning, subconsciously, unanimously shapes behaviors and dispositions, the other allows for the system to load and unload to create more dynamic models of action.
If those types of memories can’t be used, then the world around us has to be used, and studies generally record deficits in executive function with age, and addiction, so I really am on the road to dementia. Still, even if frustrating, getting up to plan something on a notepad, and lie down is nice and tranquil, even if slower.